We usually hit a rut this time of year.
I can tell from my Facebook memories. While typically he prefers to portray a subtle love to the world, I caption a few photos in a such a way that I can remember. This year, I can remember and smile. No ruts yet.
Must be the newlywed syndrome. That’s what we’ve been using as an excuse. I smile when he walks in the door. I notice when the light catches his speckled blue eyes. I stare at his lips while he tells me anything – about work, a compliment, a joke, the dog’s bowel movements…and I’m just aching to kiss him. I grab my phone at work to send a message when I shouldn’t just to see his name flash across the screen. My body feels physical anxiety when I am away from him for the weekend. And that first hug when I return…what was I talking about again?
When I look back on the seven years we’ve been together, four months married, it sure doesn’t seem like newlywed syndrome is to blame. I think when you find your person, this subtle everydayness gets taken for granted. I think I’m seeing what I’ve always had and just feeling extra grateful.
So sorry, dear reader, if you were hoping for subtle like my husband. He chose not to marry subtle.
Note: I found the word “everydayness” on Pinterest.